tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30972218320354329372024-03-20T02:02:57.419-07:00following after the CommaAnn-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-19531234820107016182017-09-12T09:50:00.002-07:002020-03-10T18:06:07.549-07:00After Irma<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you aren't aware, my family and I live in Tampa, FL. We are doing well in the aftermath of Irma. By the time she reached us she was only a Category 1. We didn't even lose power on our street. Working to get the house back in order from Hurricane Prep and watching to see what Jose is going to do. Thanks to everyone who was keeping an eye on us. Please send prayers and assistance to those in South Florida who need it. They took the worst of it so we didn't have to.</span>Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-73824730384721423202017-08-06T14:17:00.000-07:002020-03-10T18:05:37.254-07:00It’s Called Chemistry for A Reason<div class="MsoNormal">
You often see this scenario:</div>
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Boy sees Girl, Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl go on a date.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Boy is handsome/smart/funny/perfect<o:p></o:p></div>
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Girl is beautiful/smart/funny/perfect.<o:p></o:p></div>
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No Spark.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why??<o:p></o:p></div>
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No chemistry or, more accurately, no pheromone reaction.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What is Chemistry? How does it work?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, who cares how it works, we know it does. </div>
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We know there are some people we are more attracted to than others. We know that sometimes when we meet a person that we, or our friends, think we should connect with, for some unidentifiable reason we just don't.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Chemistry. </div>
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Most species on our planet have some kind of hormonal and/or pheromonal attraction system that helps them choose a mate. Humans are no different.</div>
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Additionally, throughout our own species, we show a variety of conditions that are usually referred to as “abnormalities” in the form of syndromes, genetic mutations, birth defects, etc. We also show a small percentage of people who are built a little differently, ie: left-handed people, people with 2 different eye colors, and people with both sex organs.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This being the case I think it only makes sense that there is a percentage of our species who’s bio systems respond to pheromones from the same sex instead of the opposite sex, and still others who’s systems are attracted to both sexes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We don't choose what types of hormones/pheromones our bodies respond to, it's just the way we are born.<br />
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Like what you see? <a href="https://shopvida.com/collections/ann-monique?rfsn=714727.4241e6" target="_blank">Click here to get it at my VIDA collection</a></div>
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-26868311782431070292017-02-05T08:45:00.001-08:002020-03-10T18:03:58.348-07:00Syrian Refugees - My 2 Cents<div class="_1dwg _1w_m _2ph_" style="padding: 12px 12px 0px;">
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I know its been awhile. I've been spending more time in my studio and reconnecting with my family after my Australian adventure.</div>
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SO, I'm weighing in my 2 cents. There has been a lot in the news again lately about the refugee issue thanks to President Trump. </div>
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As a Christian, I put it to other Christians who may be in favor of refusing admittance to refugees:</div>
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If you are truly the good Christian you think you are you would remember a few lessons the Bible tries to teach us:</div>
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One-the parable of the Good Samaritan.<br />
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Two-the Golden Rule. Remember, this rule teaches us to treat others the same way we want to be treated, not the way they actually treat us.</div>
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Regarding the Wolf in Sheep's clothing "refugees" that are committing acts of terrorism in the host countries.</div>
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(I put them in quotes because I don't consider those individuals as actual refugees, they are people taking advantage of a situation to cause harm.)</div>
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Removing one way for these individuals to cause trouble (ie: refusing admittance to refugees) is not going to stop them from finding other ways. </div>
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It will only punish the innocent families who are simply trying to keep their family from harm and death and find a new home so they can go on raising their children in a safe place. </div>
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As a parent, I completely sympathize with this.</div>
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We need to remember something else as well. This country as it stands was started by refugees. Most of the settlers and immigrants came here to escape from something. This is just the current version of what they did. So unless you are a descendant of one of the tribes that were indigenous to these continents before explorers and settlers barged in and took over, there is really no argument that can be made for not excepting more people wanting a new life.</div>
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-51650986437022235292015-10-25T07:46:00.000-07:002020-03-10T18:08:24.029-07:00Rare Does NOT Equal Unnatural.“If homosexuality were natural there would be no procreation.”<br />
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Implication of this: homosexuality is unnatural. <br />
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So commented a co-worker recently when they made the naive mistake of randomly bringing up the subject and possibly thinking I would agree. Instead this co-working was given a quick and brief set of arguments that basically blew that train of thought out of the water.<br />
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In the years of hearing homophobic people give excuse after excuse as to why they feel homosexuality shouldn’t be accepted, I can honestly say the above argument is one of the most inept I’ve come across.<br />
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To show why, here’s a few seemingly unrelated facts gleaned from the internet, please note that the following statistics are approximate based on multiple resources:<br />
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<li>17% of the population is born with blue eyes.</li>
<li>10-30% of ethnic populations where it is commonest (Celtic descendent, etc.) have red hair. </li>
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<li>Fun Fact: Red hair is actually caused by a series of genetic mutations.</li>
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<li>10% of the population is left handed.</li>
<li>1-2% of the population has some form of Autism</li>
<li>LESS THAN 1% of the population has Down Syndrome (1 in 700-900)</li>
<li>0.0055% (1 in 18,000) of the population is born with Adrenoleukodystrophy, or ALD (the genetic disease featured in the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104756/" target="_blank">Lorenzo’s Oil</a>)</li>
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Why are some people born with traits that are not commonly found within the general population?<br />
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Just 50 years ago or so most children were discouraged or even punished for preferring to use their left hand. <br />
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Do these traits make us any less natural that the general population? I know I didn’t choose to be left handed. I know that trying to use my right hand feels very unnatural for me. <br />
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I know that I’ve had to adapt to a certain point to get by in a predominantly right handed world and that consequently I’ve become ambidextrous in some tasks as a result but that doesn’t make me right-handed.<br />
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Then there is the whole, “if it were natural there would be no procreation of the species”. <br />
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Science has already diagnosed numerous disorders that involve the reproductive system. I have known 2 separate women in my life that were born without ovaries. They just don’t have them. <br />
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They didn’t choose this. It happened to them on a genetic level. They will not be able to procreate the usual way but that doesn’t make their condition unnatural.<br />
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There are many conditions, genetic “diseases”, syndromes, etc, we recognize as rare but natural. For a lot of them, we have no idea what the cause is. We just know they exist. <br />
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This is why I find it so unfathomable that it is still such a stretch of the imagination for so many people that homosexuality could easily be, and probably is, a rare but natural condition too.<br />
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-5639121027503649752015-10-18T00:06:00.005-07:002015-10-18T00:34:47.419-07:00Chicken - v - Egg: An Answer to the Age Old Question of 'Which Came First'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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To start with, it depends on your school of thought: Creation or Evolution?
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Creation School of Thought</h3>
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God created all the animals and then they started reproducing. So of course the chicken came first.<br />
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Evolution School of Thought</h3>
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Taken directly from<a href="http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/article/0_0_0/evo_02" target="_blank"> http://evolution.berkeley.edu/evolibrary/article/0_0_0/evo_02</a><br />
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<i>The Definition</i><br />
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<i>Biological evolution, simply put, is descent with modification. This definition encompasses small-scale evolution (changes in gene frequency in a population from one generation to the next).</i><br />
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I will stand corrected if I'm wrong, but my understanding of, "Changes in a population from one generation to the next" means each generation is slightly different from the one before. So, for any particular chicken, the egg comes first for each genetic generation.
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-29085924335933692892015-10-12T06:48:00.003-07:002015-10-12T06:57:37.801-07:00I Must NEVER Let My Guard DownMost of my life I have worked to keep a certain level of mental and emotional distance from any situation I find myself in. This has stemmed from consistently experiencing situations where the whole atmosphere has turned on a tack and gone from relaxed and enjoyable to uncomfortable and anxious. Often this is due to either extremely ill timed points being made, or just stupid overreactions where one person destroys the atmosphere for the whole group, even if the rest of the group as not guilty of anything except being there.<br />
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Social Phobia is an issue I've struggled with for decades, the above described situations probably being the primary cause. Consequently I've created an inner wall to protect myself from negativity that I have no control over.</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://annmonique.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2o5NPUZMPDEHiQucrsd7k7zDF1N1U0F7wiJji5eeH5r5g5bRuFYSco81e2yDnXbbKj6HT5K4ZrzyGm_2LtGQLFGhsYuXstP__YpYmg3W_SvJmq0BQv7JTtiTSp908YE_kepsfItvhueNl/s320/20+%25282%2529.JPG" width="244" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small; text-align: start;"><a href="http://www.annmonique.com/" target="_blank">Woman Seated - Converted to B & W - Original Art by Ann-Monique</a></span></td></tr>
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In the last several years I have finally managed to reach a level of coping that actually allows me to do things on occasion that would have been impossible before. Things like go by myself on a walk outside the confines of my yard or even take myself on a tour of a new place and explore. I've also reached a point where I can actually enjoy an evening out with a small group of people without feeling on edge the entire time.</div>
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Every once in a while I make a mistake though. I get so comfortable and enjoy myself so much that I forget to maintain that certain level of mental distance that will protect me in case of a swift change of atmosphere.</div>
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This cannot happen. The devastating feelings I get, the frustration, anger and resentment I feel as a result of these invasions of my stability, are enough to derail me for several days. <br />
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I must always be prepared for and expect the worse and not get too comfortable. Then I run a lesser risk of being mentally punished for having fun. <br />
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-44410075472407126182015-10-06T03:15:00.000-07:002015-10-12T06:01:26.813-07:00Sibling Rivalry and the Ultimate Parent <div style="background: white; line-height: 12pt; margin: 2.25pt 0in 7.5pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: small;">An Answer to the Question, “Why Didn’t God Give the Terrorists M</span><span style="color: orange; font-size: small; line-height: 12pt;">assive Coronaries Before They Hit the Twin
Towers?” -</span><span style="color: orange; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 12pt;"> Matthew Albie, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;">Disclaimer<span style="font-weight: normal;">:</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> I have done research online on many, many
sites, gleaning the basic ideas for this particular post. Needless to say there are numerous articles
out there regarding parenting and sibling rivalry. I’ve done my best to take the similar
information from these articles and put them together to, I hope, best
demonstrate what is being said and how it relates to my point. My resources have included:</span></span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Webmd.com</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Psychologies.co.uk</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Psychologytoday.com</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Parenting.com</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">GlobalPost.com </span></span></li>
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<b><span style="color: orange; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Sibling
Rivalry</span></b></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Older children have an intense need to measure up at home
and get positive feedback from their parents. Often conflict arises because
children feel they are competing with their siblings for this attention. Avoid
comparing your children to each other.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If there is an issue going on between the siblings in your
house, don't be discouraged. Dealing with this conflict often serves as a
useful training exercise in which siblings gain experience in
overcoming problems.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Like much of parenting, responding to sibling rivalry
involves walking a fine line. Often parents allow siblings to work out problems
on their own and not play favorites.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Teach your children negotiation and compromise then let your
kids resolve their own issues.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Rivalry continues into adulthood and can become a bitter
conflict. Even when parents do their
best at loving and respecting all of their children, the influence of siblings
on one another can be enormous.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s important to accept that siblings will fight. By allowing them to experience their
emotions, a parent allows the child to develop a sense of responsibility. This is
the foundation of emotional health.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To get to this point, all sides have to want to make peace, and they also have
to want it at the same time. If a dialogue is begun when one person isn’t ready
you guarantee that any reconciliation will be artificial and create a bigger
breach between those involved. It’s hard to find just the right amount of
space to put between brothers and sisters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sibling relationships are deeply ambivalent by nature, and
they are fueled by both love and hate. Recognizing and accepting this is a
sign of maturity. It allows us to create distance and to find a way of living
in peace. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: orange; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Our Father Who Art in Heaven" - The Ultimate Parent<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1 John 3: 1-2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1 See what love the Father has given us that we should
be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does
not know us is that it did not know him.
2 Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet
been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be
like him, for we will see him as he is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1 John 3: 18</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">18 Little children, let us love, not in word or speech,
but in truth and action.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Luke 11:2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2 He said to them, "When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed be your name…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Matthew 6:9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">9 "Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The following <i>text in italics </i>is directly from an article in</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/deal-sibling-rivalry-adult-children-18083.html" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;" target="_blank">Everydaylife.globalpost.com</a> b<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">y </span><span style="background: rgb(250, 250, 250); font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Eliza Martinez</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> about parents of adult siblings that still have a rivalry between them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>For Parents</i> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 1<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Avoid comparisons
among your adult children... children always want to please their parents, no
matter their ages. Don't compare your kids' jobs, children, spouses, financial
situations or homes.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 2<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Talk to your kids... Help your children come up with solutions for their rivalry that can help avoid
fights and conflict. Maybe they'll agree to disagree, decide to make certain
topics of conversation off limits and agree to walk away from when things get
heated so they can calm down.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Despite what many people want to believe, God is still
speaking to us. We may just not want to
hear what’s being said or are not mature enough to understand. If you are
a parent yourself, you may have an idea of how frustrating this is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 3<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stay out of the
sibling rivalry. Clearly tell your children that you won't take sides and don't
want to be part of their fights and disagreements. This doesn't mean you can't
offer advice and a listening ear when your kids need you, but if they know
that's as far as it goes, eventually they won't even come to you with their
disputes.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 4<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Encourage your kids to
see each other's points of view. You raised them, but that doesn't mean they
think, react or feel things the same way. They each bring their own baggage and
personality to the sibling relationships and helping each see their siblings'
sides can help your kids understand each other.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 5<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Seek help. If all else
fails, help your kids find a neutral person to assist them in working through
their issues. A family therapist is an ideal choice because she can work
through emotions with siblings and work with them to come to a resolution to
the issues they face. This can help your kids create and maintain a healthy and
fulfilling relationship throughout adulthood.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For Siblings<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 1<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Avoid trying to change
your siblings. Despite a similar upbringing, you each have your own
personalities, likes and dislikes, so it goes to follow that you aren't the
same person. Instead, accept your differences and embrace that they make your
relationships unique.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 2<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Don't compete with
each other. This doesn't mean that you won't get jealous of your siblings'
successes, particularly if those successes are something that you'd like to
have as well. The trick to is to keep that to yourself and congratulate your
siblings on their new jobs, marriages, babies or big raises instead of trying
to one up them with your brand new car or bigger house.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 3<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Talk to your siblings.
Arrange times when you can sit down together without outside distraction and
hash out the problems in your relationships. Work together to come up with
solutions. This might even mean taking turns going to family functions where
emotions run high and conflict occurs.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Step 4<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Spend time together in
neutral locations. Perhaps you could meet for coffee once a week or have dinner
at a restaurant once a month. This lets you create shared experiences away from
the life events that cause conflict -- at the same time, being in public can
help prevent you from coming to blows.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have probably all asked our parents Why? before, and not gotten an answer we were satisfied
with. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">God is the Ultimate parent.
There is no better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">God provides. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We have
the ability to learn, invent, discover, be curious, and explore. With all of these skills that God has
provided us, we can do anything if we put our minds to it, from growing our own
crops to use for clothing and food, to curing deadly diseases. We can even learn to build transportation
that will allow us to explore more of God’s great creation outside of the planet
God put us on. God has provided us with
what we need to survive. It’s our responsibility
to use those gifts to help each other.</span></div>
Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-72362136342387335102015-08-01T22:20:00.002-07:002015-08-01T22:20:43.136-07:00My Fight with Depression and Anxiety<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLjs0wIWbul0JT8clo6ZreQ_ex80chZ0lhrDP2F-k_1sttLZlb4hOg9frcOI2al5C3URJzG3lTQKfN7yLZG4Q442VGcmyEUaPZUFFhJ_wLebCCZPiJe4cfKkpEbcF-VWdD-pP1blbJy-d3/s1600/_25+%25284%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLjs0wIWbul0JT8clo6ZreQ_ex80chZ0lhrDP2F-k_1sttLZlb4hOg9frcOI2al5C3URJzG3lTQKfN7yLZG4Q442VGcmyEUaPZUFFhJ_wLebCCZPiJe4cfKkpEbcF-VWdD-pP1blbJy-d3/s200/_25+%25284%2529.JPG" width="145" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUnKsu4zl7Kkb0WH9EASnbuQYfNJgFK0ddz7n4Pvqi53O37q8f8NxfiefgAAS1tDkn_T6GqKfNuBYdK1OtgLyrllcAW0H0L9p3DzwAxABsqS61bvBPCPAia3BGqX91pRU2akPYjseMBLxm/s1600/D01ALONE+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUnKsu4zl7Kkb0WH9EASnbuQYfNJgFK0ddz7n4Pvqi53O37q8f8NxfiefgAAS1tDkn_T6GqKfNuBYdK1OtgLyrllcAW0H0L9p3DzwAxABsqS61bvBPCPAia3BGqX91pRU2akPYjseMBLxm/s200/D01ALONE+%25282%2529.JPG" width="133" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqC-uFigHx9LLKnlQnl7A8XTpQ5Vfx99pZfZd1-rT9jRQLCj370mtT8bThgrfK0VVYz2_V0cnbKlQf1Dykiinav99cnnWybd69zH7_QWQMYcZXUo_Cv_Yjdi3zPKvBInwwPRj9_XH5QIen/s1600/19POES.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqC-uFigHx9LLKnlQnl7A8XTpQ5Vfx99pZfZd1-rT9jRQLCj370mtT8bThgrfK0VVYz2_V0cnbKlQf1Dykiinav99cnnWybd69zH7_QWQMYcZXUo_Cv_Yjdi3zPKvBInwwPRj9_XH5QIen/s200/19POES.JPG" width="146" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Original Art by Ann-Monique</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
“I know I had become useless before I left. I'd let myself lose my grip on life and was struggling to get it back. I'm working really hard to come back to you both a much better wife and mommy…</div>
…I don't cook I don't clean I don't do laundry I don't do his homework with him I don't mow the lawn…<br />
…I beat myself up over everything. I know I've been failing<br />
…I just want you to understand that I know I've been screwing up especially in my attention to you.”<br />
<br />
In my journey down the road to recovering from my last major break down from Depression and anxiety I’ve managed to leave by husband so far behind its inexcusable. I was so focused on trying to fix myself while keeping my son from knowing there was an issue that I basically forgot to spend time with my husband. I didn’t recognize I was doing it. I honestly thought I was maintaining my relationship while I worked to heal myself.<br />
<br />
The following is from WebMD. Follow this link for the complete article: <a href="http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-overview">http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-overview</a><br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: orange;">Depression: What Is It? </span></h4>
<i>It's natural to feel down sometimes, but if that low mood lingers day after day, it could signal depression. Major depression is an episode of sadness or apathy along with other symptoms that lasts at least two consecutive weeks and is severe enough to interrupt daily activities. Depression is not a sign of weakness or a negative personality. It is a major public health problem and a treatable medical condition.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Depression is sometimes linked to physical symptoms. These include:</i><br />
<i>•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Fatigue and decreased energy</i><br />
<i>•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Insomnia, especially early-morning waking</i><br />
<i>•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Excessive sleep</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Without treatment, the physical and emotional turmoil brought on by depression can derail careers, hobbies, and relationships. Depressed people often find it difficult to concentrate and make decisions. They turn away from previously enjoyable activities, including sex. In severe cases, depression can become life-threatening.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Depression can make other health problems feel worse, particularly chronic pain. Key brain chemicals influence both mood and pain. Treating depression has been shown to improve co-existing illnesses.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Anyone can become depressed, but many experts believe genetics play a role. Having a parent or sibling with depression increases your risk of developing the disorder. Women are twice as likely as men to become depressed.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: orange;">Causes of Depression</span></h4>
<i>Doctors aren't sure what causes depression, but a prominent theory is altered brain structure and chemical function. Brain circuits that regulate mood may work less efficiently during depression. Drugs that treat depression are believed to improve communication between nerve cells, making them run more normally. Experts also think that while stress -- such as losing a loved one -- can trigger depression, one must first be biologically prone to develop the disorder. Other triggers could include certain medications, alcohol or substance abuse, hormonal changes, or even the season.</i><br />
<span style="color: orange;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: orange;">Some Types of Depression</span></b><br />
<b>Chronic Depression (Dysthymia, Mild) </b><br />
(<a href="http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/chronic-depression-dysthymia">http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/chronic-depression-dysthymia</a>)<br />
<br />
Dysthymia, sometimes referred to as mild, chronic depression, is less severe and has fewer symptoms than major depression. With dysthymia, the depression symptoms can linger for a long period of time, often two years or longer. Those who suffer from dysthymia can also experience periods of major depression--sometimes called "double depression.".<br />
<br />
<b>Clinical Depression (Major Depression)</b><br />
(<a href="http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/major-depression">http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/major-depression</a>)<br />
<br />
Most people feel sad or low at some point in their lives. But clinical depression is marked by a depressed mood most of the day, particularly in the morning, and a loss of interest in normal activities and relationships -- symptoms that are present every day for at least 2 weeks. In addition, according to the DSM-5 -- a manual used to diagnose mental health conditions -- you may have other symptoms with major depression.<br />
<br />
Those symptoms might include:<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Impaired concentration, indecisiveness<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others)<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Restlessness or feeling slowed down<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Recurring thoughts of death or suicide<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)<br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: orange;">My Causes of Depression</span></h4>
For me it appears to run in my family and then can be made much worse from stress and major life events. Fortunately there is even better education and understanding now that there was even 20 years ago when I was first diagnosed. I have very good periods of time when I feel completely “normal” and then suddenly one day I’ll be incredibly sad, despondent and physically weary for no reason I can pinpoint. I have finally begun to see a pattern, pre-menopause has definitely made the symptoms more defined and the time periods more regular as I become more irregular in my cycle.<br />
<br />
Part of me is finding the whole process intriguing to observe. I’ll go 2 weeks or so struggling to maintain a daily routine, still be productive and still try to care about my own health, then one day it’s like a switch has been flipped in my brain and I’m back to normal for a while and working hard to get caught up from when I lacked the motivation to do anything.<br />
<br />
I used to get really offended when I would hear people say that depression was all in the head. Of course those people usually meant that it was something you could choose to snap out of. As it happens, they were partially right. It is all in the head, most specifically in the brain. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHqBqgwqLxyM8TYA0C0YIa-Rza69TbGhgKYTM6j6lB1phg9r3Ng5rjeHXHB110evRUWeZDZa0AJbQXdsIYqXfUUKbB0-nPy2Kd7nxieKMHcVnARgesSqQnxQvkD3ufilx4GIZLuLnyx9zp/s320/Brain+Scan.png" width="320" /></div>
<i>Photo from WebMD <a href="http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-overview">http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-depression-overview</a></i><br />
<br />
<i>Depression is a disease. It's caused by changes in chemicals in the brain that are called neurotransmitters. Depression isn't a character flaw, and it doesn't mean you are bad or weak. It doesn't mean you are going crazy.</i> (WebMD: <a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/depression-and-suicide-topic-overview">http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/depression-and-suicide-topic-overview</a>)<br />
<br />
I’ve become less frustrated over time about my own battles once I completely understood that the symptoms are linked to actual physical issues in the brain’s chemistry. It’s been easier for me to accept treatment, now that I understand that it’s not just because I’m “having a bad day”, but because something in my body is actually turning against me. I understand that I can no sooner tackle this condition completely by myself than I could tackle Cancer completely by myself.<br />
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<h4>
<span style="color: orange;">My Attack Plan</span></h4>
I have spent most of my life developing Coping Skills to deal both with my depression and my social anxiety. I’ve been on and off different medications as well as seen several counselors and psychologists as I needed to, depending on what else was happening in my life. Several years ago my Psychologist recommended this workbook to me: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne.<br />
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This book is a wonderful resource for recognizing what you may be dealing with and helping you develop coping skills in a manner that works best for you. I was able to not only realize how serious my problems had become but also work toward fine tuning coping skills in a way that has continued to benefit me. I highly recommend this as a resource for anyone looking for assistance with their depression, anxiety or even a general phobia as these all often become linked and the exercises to overcome them are similar.<br />
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I’ve now better recognize what parts I do have some control over and can use my coping skills to use in battle. I’ve also accepted that it’s ok to be on medication in order to assist me with the chemical battles within my brain that I don’t have control over. This has led me to become much less frustrated and more tolerant of myself when I realize I’m not accomplishing my personal goals. It has also made me more aware of where I am falling short so I can put more effort into those areas of my life.<br />
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-68089679294404360762015-06-28T00:56:00.000-07:002015-06-28T00:56:01.647-07:00I Use the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) of the BibleNormally I would stop at one post per week, but since I used some quotations from the Bible in my other post today I am going to take a quick moment to let everyone know which version of the Bible I use and why. <br />
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The following is taken directly from Bible Gateway.com<br />
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<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-Revised-Standard-Version-NRSV-Bible/" target="_blank">https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-Revised-Standard-Version-NRSV-Bible/</a><br />
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You can find an online version of this Bible here: <a href="http://www.biblestudytools.com/nrs/" target="_blank">http://www.biblestudytools.com/nrs/</a><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">The New Revised Standard Version of the Bible (NRSV) was published in 1989 and has received the widest acclaim and broadest support from academics and church leaders of any modern English translation.</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #990000;"> It is the only Bible translation that is as widely ecumenical:</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">The ecumenical NRSV Bible Translation Committee consists of thirty men and women who are among the top scholars in America today. They come from Protestant denominations, the Roman Catholic church, and the Greek Orthodox Church. The committee also includes a Jewish scholar.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">The RSV was the only major translation in English that included both the standard Protestant canon and the books that are traditionally used by Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christians (the so-called "Apocryphal" or "Deuterocanonical" books). Standing in this tradition, the NRSV is available in three ecumenical formats: a standard edition with or without the Apocrypha, a Roman Catholic Edition, which has the so-called "Apocryphal" or "Deuterocanonical" books in the Roman Catholic canonical order, and The Common Bible, which includes all books that belong to the Protestant, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox canons.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">The NRSV stands out among the many translations available today as the Bible translation that is the most widely "authorized" by the churches. It received the endorsement of thirty-three Protestant churches. It received the imprimatur of the American and Canadian Conferences of Catholic bishops. And it received the blessing of a leader of the Greek Orthodox Church.</span></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">The NRSV is truly a Bible for all Christians!</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #990000;">Rooted in the past, but right for today, the NRSV continues the tradition of William Tyndale, the King James Version, the American Standard Version, and the Revised Standard Version. Equally important, it sets a new standard for the 21st Century.</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #990000;">The NRSV stands out among the many translations because it is "as literal as possible" in adhering to the ancient texts and only "as free as necessary" to make the meaning clear in graceful, understandable English. It draws on newly available sources that increase our understanding of many previously obscure biblical passages. These sources include new-found manuscripts, the Dead Sea Scrolls, other texts, inscriptions, and archaeological finds from the ancient Near East, and new understandings of Greek and Hebrew grammar.</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">The NRSV differs from the RSV in four primary ways:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">updating the language of the RSV, by replacing archaic forms of speech addressed to God (Thee, Thou, wast, dost, etc.), and by replacing words whose meaning has changed significantly since the RSV translation (for example, Paul's statement in 2 Corinthians 11.25 that he was "stoned" once)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">making the translation more accurate,</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">helping it to be more easily understood, especially when it is read out loud, and</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #990000;">making it clear where the original texts intend to include all humans, male and female, and where they intend to refer only to the male or female gender.</span></li>
</ul>
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-32577280308591394522015-06-28T00:40:00.001-07:002015-06-28T00:40:25.934-07:00More History is Made in My LifetimeA great step forward in history was made recently when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that bans on Gay Marriage were unconstitutional. So, Gay Marriage is now officially legal nationwide in the United States of America.<br />
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My first reaction was, "It is about time!"<br />
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This of course will bring on the newest tirade of Conservative Christians who will be quoting the Bible to make their point. If you have read my posts from the beginning you already know my arguments for things that happen that outwardly appear to contradict the Bible so I won't go through it again now. <br />
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I will include my own quotes from the Bible that have had a very profound effect on me and went as far as inspiring a piece I did over a decade ago. The text written on the painting are the 3 verses listed below.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsR0umVUkmWpTIsTVCLTeROdVXehQZYTzsBWg8-aWyiEFxqwLfuVkyR-5sBzwpHxxJ_4P1EwKENKO9eV9sPh8sVQoeNmZeZGMJR1-FexveTtLWIbvytj8AQXJuHJVlMH_AyG8GeF30ROTA/s1600/p06loveislove+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsR0umVUkmWpTIsTVCLTeROdVXehQZYTzsBWg8-aWyiEFxqwLfuVkyR-5sBzwpHxxJ_4P1EwKENKO9eV9sPh8sVQoeNmZeZGMJR1-FexveTtLWIbvytj8AQXJuHJVlMH_AyG8GeF30ROTA/s320/p06loveislove+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Love is Love</div>
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1 John 4:7-8 - (7) Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (8) Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.<br />
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1 John 4: 16 - (16) ...God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.</div>
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1 John 4:20 - (20) Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.</div>
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Marriage is about love and commitment. True Love will never be unnatural or immoral.</div>
Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-17584413549995622672015-06-21T04:37:00.000-07:002015-06-22T23:33:48.480-07:00Why are Some People Still so Stupid?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanks to the many
places we've had the privilege to live, my son has had friends in his life
since birth that were as varied as you can get. In fact more than once, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">as the only white male among the neighborhood kids, </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">he was
actually the minority among his peers. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">To my son, everyone is a potential friend unless that individual does something to hurt him or make him sad in some way. If that happens, he moves on to the next potential friend. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Only recently has he begun to notice that some people don't like other people just because they are different from themselves. He </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">doesn't</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"> understand why.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I am unable to give him a satisfactory answer when the
question comes up because frankly I don't understand why either. I've finally
come up with an answer that may not be completely satisfactory but that I
believe is accurate. The answer is: </span></span></span></div>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Some people are just Stupid.</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Whenever I give this answer to my son, I make sure that I include that yes, stupid is not a nice thing to say about anyone. However, I also stipulate that in this case, its really the best way to describe individuals who hate entire groups of people for ridiculous reasons.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">I have had the fortune in my life to be raised by parents who taught me to treat people as individuals. If I don't like a person or fear a person or just can't stand to be around a person, its because I've gotten to know them on some personal level or another and that individual has behaved or otherwise shown me that they are not someone I want to know well.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">The easiest way to explain my Protestant Minister Dad's view on my friends or boyfriends is this:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">If I came home with a non-Christian African American or other Black person and said we were getting married he would have welcomed him (or her for that matter) with open arms. Well, OK, as open as any Daddy would welcome the person involved with his little girl.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Now, if this same person were to become abusive or otherwise harmful to me, my Dad would of course probably try to have them killed, or at least arrested. This would in no way be because of their </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Race, Religion, Sexual Orientation, etc.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">As a result of my upbringing I have developed a wonderful circle of long distance friends who are either not white, or married to people who are not white. I can't imagine not having any of these people in my life and recognize the fact that I probably wouldn't have even given any of them a second glance if I had been raised differently. One of my closest friend's husband is African American and her girls are the daughters I've never had. They have been know to refer to me as one of their Aunts and my son and the oldest one are very close friends who often mention that they wish they were brother and sister. We just tell them they are close enough to count as brother and sister.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7xAOEVw7-z6-h49e5h-l3gqYldVHODfbbJ3cDp4SnEdGBv1H44BDCKIMBQ1ki8w4hsKK2lmo3gf1q2mAADl2Fc8D9k-9WK21v8_e_LuYs7owIUipJ7sunQ_folPABD-PkZu27F8BHXdRq/s1600/Racism+is+Taught.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7xAOEVw7-z6-h49e5h-l3gqYldVHODfbbJ3cDp4SnEdGBv1H44BDCKIMBQ1ki8w4hsKK2lmo3gf1q2mAADl2Fc8D9k-9WK21v8_e_LuYs7owIUipJ7sunQ_folPABD-PkZu27F8BHXdRq/s400/Racism+is+Taught.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">So, now let us address how </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Racism</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">applies to mixed couples and the children of those relationships. One of the comments that I've heard regarding racism and mixed race offspring is that it is not natural. The argument often used to try to justify this statement is that you don't see mixed babies in nature. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">This one "argument" really pinpoints just how ignorant the people are who think like this.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">We see mixed race animals in nature and in domestic situations all the time. If its not done purposefully its usually referred to as "Mixed Breeds". If its done on purpose we usually hear the phrase "Cross Breeds".</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Cross breeding is a fact of life. In nature it often comes from situations where there are limited partners available within the same breed but can be found within the same species. In domestic situations it has become a business to improve the breed. Horses and dogs are two common examples of cross-breeding. When race horses are cross bred its usually for the purpose of making the next generation faster, stronger and / or better than the previous one.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Back in the late 80's I learned in my High School Biology class that its not physically possible for animals from different species to mate. I also learned that especially when referring to the Human Species, genetically we have issues when we breed with others too close to our bloodlines, referred to as inbreeding.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">To put this more simply, when 2 people who are too closely related have children, numerous birth defects can present themselves. The more the inbreeding the worse the defects on the genetic level.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">So, in order to finally wrap this up, here is the point.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Human Beings Are A Species.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Within Our Species There Area Several Breeds (Races).</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">We Were Not Designed To Keep Bloodlines Pure.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">We Were Designed To Mix It Up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Pure Bloodlines Are Not Natural.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Cross Breeding Makes Us Stronger And Better As A Species Both Physically And Mentally.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.3333330154419px; line-height: 15.3333320617676px;">Anyone under the age of 40 who doesn't understand this needs to go back to High School Biology. Anyone older who doesn't understand, ask your kids in High School. If they don't know, they haven't been paying enough attention in Biology Class.</span></span></div>
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-4706995505767459822015-04-26T03:32:00.001-07:002015-04-26T03:40:57.830-07:00Personal Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirhU16zanAHjWMRGsXTTRKpXqkgJ-LFQAGjeCZeMdRm4jHtMYaI5NNNl9u50UZBUUY3jBelSxszkq-o1TxDwKZeLRgBnrG5Pf4kBknF1OQ7qBUbTUDaUas44SioUqROhN-1ieU6616Mxmr/s1600/2015-03-06+18.14.54-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirhU16zanAHjWMRGsXTTRKpXqkgJ-LFQAGjeCZeMdRm4jHtMYaI5NNNl9u50UZBUUY3jBelSxszkq-o1TxDwKZeLRgBnrG5Pf4kBknF1OQ7qBUbTUDaUas44SioUqROhN-1ieU6616Mxmr/s1600/2015-03-06+18.14.54-2.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, lucida grande, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Hello from the "Land Down Under" aka Oz, aka Australia. I am now live from Karratha, WA (Western Australia). For those who don't know, I have accepted a posting at one of the local schools as their Visual Arts Facilitator. My purpose here is to create and teach a step by step Fine Arts Curriculum for K-12, create Procedure manuals and hopefully train someone local to take over after me. Their school year runs from January to December so I will be here and away from my wonderful family until Christmas. Both of my guys are being very supportive of this once in a life time opportunity.</span></span>Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-17743821000030206762015-04-19T10:16:00.000-07:002015-10-12T06:07:46.775-07:00Where I'm Coming From - Metaphorically<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
My inability to capture many of my thoughts can be very
frustrating. Every day my mind will
wonder into imaginary conversations with various people. Usually the topic is
Religion, how I “practice” my faith, and why I do it the way I do.</div>
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<br /></div>
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A large part of me feels that if I could capture the ideas of these
imagined conversations and write them down they could potentially assist many
others who struggle with faith, either their own or their lack thereof.</div>
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<br /></div>
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One idea that always returns to my head is that there is a perception
that organized religion and God must be inclusive of each other. One must exist for the other to exist. I don’t
believe this. I do not believe that to be a good Christian, or Jew, or Muslim
or anything else for that matter, you must regularly attend a place of worship
and go through an excepted routine of ritual to prove your faith.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Before I progress too far with this incite to my Spirituality, I will
share my religious history.</div>
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I am the daughter and granddaughter of Clergymen. My mother's father
was a conservative Methodist minister, growing up my mother couldn't ever order
an entree that had a wine sauce on it, I never saw that side, since he
died when I was 16. He was the Grandparent I was closest to and I only saw the
lovable and always smiling cuddly Grandpa that taught me how to use tools and
gave great backrubs. My Father is a
liberal U.C.C. Minister. I also received
my BA in Studio Art from a Methodist College where Old and New Testament
classes were just as much a requirement for graduation as College Algebra and
English 101</div>
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My brother and I grew up going to church every Sunday unless we were
sick. These mornings usually consisted of
Sunday school, the Service, and then Fellowship hour. Church for me wasn't just
a time to worship and follow my faith, it was a second home and the people were
extended family, as is the case for many people.</div>
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When I was little, I loved watching the activities that the youth group
did and couldn't wait to get old enough to do them too. I would love it when
the ladies groups and adult groups met at the house, hear them talk, help when
I was allowed and looked forward to growing up and being able to be a fully
participating member of the club.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My church "home" was a place I could feel safe, be most
myself, and comfortably be social. I am
very Social Phobic, something I've been working to overcome most of my life. By
the time I reached 4th grade school was a torment that only got worse every
year. Church was my social circle. By
High School my sole source of regular social activities was almost all Church
related, either directly or outside but with people from there. Church was the solid foundation of my
life. It was my safe place and the only
place I was really at ease. I know that many people feel this way as a normal
part of life and I will admit I sometimes envy them for it.</div>
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I lived the first 20 years of my life secure in this bubble. I had built up protective walls around me in
all other parts of my life, especially school, and worked very hard to be
invisible. Church was my comfort
zone. I believed that within its walls I
could trust the people there regardless of who we were outside of church
activities.</div>
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I was very naive.</div>
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The summer I turned 20 I lost all my faith in the church. I learned that even within its alleged
hallowed walls, people can still be manipulative, spread vicious rumors that
have no foundation, and choose to deliberately cause harm with no thought of whom
else may be collateral damage. I am still unable to write about the details of
that summer. I will say that the few people I have related the experience to have
shown me deep sympathy and understanding as to why I have been unable to heal
from this enough to trust the Church as a place of safety again. I have made
attempts recently to be involved in some very wonderful congregations. There is still a tentativeness that I haven't
been able to completely overcome but I am making progress</div>
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<br /></div>
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There is a Hindu tradition that "...teaches that all religions
hold aspects of the divine" (<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/08/five-mercadante-film_n_7022370.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000051" target="_blank">Huffingtonpost.com 04.08.2015</a>)</div>
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<br /></div>
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The story cited above reports about a short film called
"Five" that presents to the audience the trust in faith that 5 children
of 5 different world religions share.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I realize talking about this film appears like I've taken a hard turn
off the subject. I include it for a
specific reason. When I viewed the film,
my first reaction was a small amount of jealousy. Jealousy that these children
still held that complete trust of faith in the people they knew within each of their
respective places of worship and that those houses of worship where completely
connected to their faith in the Divine.
Once I guiltily brushed that feeling off, I was able to rejoice in the
message of the film and what its message was trying to say.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Many would expect that to lose faith in the church would also equate to
losing faith in God. This is not the case, not for me, and shouldn't be for
anyone else. I know better that to blame God for the pain and sadness caused by some of God's children. Equally important, I know now that the whole
experience was necessary to kick start me into developing into the person I am
still becoming. To stop being a blind
follower and become more of a leader. A
leader who isn't afraid to step back, look around and question things that just
don't seem right according to my understanding of our God as well as the
teachings of Jesus Christ.</div>
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<br /></div>
I look back at the rungs of the ladder that is my life and I know
everything I've experienced has been important in helping me realize and
appreciate what I have, as well as what we have as God's children and what we
could accomplish with the materials He has given us if we would just get out
heads out of our asses, stop squabbling about little stuff and work together.Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-26165016643506343032015-04-12T00:09:00.002-07:002015-04-12T00:09:48.874-07:00Why "Following AFTER the Comma" ???<div class="MsoNormal">
Why “Following <b><u>after </u></b>the Comma”? Since I come from a line of English teachers,
I should explain the whole meaning behind my chosen title for this series of
thoughts, editorials and general wandering of the mind as it happens.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, first, “Why the Comma?” </div>
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<br /></div>
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My Dad is a UCC (United Church of Christ) minister. Even though I don’t attend church anymore, I
still consider it my denomination as it follows a path of spirituality that is
most closely in line with my own.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The best way to answer “Why the Comma” comes directly from the <a href="http://www.ucc.org/" target="_blank">UCC</a> God is Still Speaking campaign:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>THE COMMA</b> constantly reminds us of God’s boundless love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>THE COMMA</b> reminds us that God is still speaking and that God
speaks in multiple ways.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>THE COMMA</b> carries the
hope of God’s peace with justice; of religion relevant to our unique
experiences; of the new light and truth still to break forth from God’s word.</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b>THE COMMA</b> reminds us that on our continuing faith journeys,
God is still speaking. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.uccresources.com/products/bookmark-why-the-comma-pack-of-25" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.uccresources.com/products/bookmark-why-the-comma-pack-of-25" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEmXF5ikGYyIHwhyAbAH_oa1Kwai26kVfjdOVkn7oNEgdZN0EDLf16p1I9ydGqbOwf6gbKjPcdWZZBIxObECRYZW5UeGYlL1Pj2DLxjlFl8apgdrwlpbMpjdi_BzFfx6nwKFVPa6JS915m/s1600/Why+the+Comma.png" title="" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Click Image to order these Bookmarks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that you know where the Comma comes from let us contemplate the word Follow as it refers to my title.</div>
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<b>Follow</b>: To adhere to; practice: <i><span style="color: blue;">follow the Lord God</span></i>.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In other words, "Following after the Comma" instead of "Following the Comma" or "After the Comma" refers to my spiritual path. I focus on what we have learned about God's Creation since the initial interpretations were gathered together in the Holy Scriptures. Each individual sect of God's Followers has their own version ie, the Holy Bible, the Torah, the Qur'an and so forth. The one thing that they all have in common no matter which version or translation? They all were spoken about and later written down during a time when everyone thought the world was flat and we were the center of God's creation. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Since then we have learned a lot, including:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li>The world is round not flat.</li>
<li>The Sun does not orbit around the Earth, </li>
<li>We are not the center of our own Solar System or our own Galaxy, therefore we are not the center of God's universe.</li>
<li>There have been many versions of human beings since our planet's creation, we're just the most recent.</li>
<li>When you stare at the night sky, you are basically looking into forever.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We know so much more now about God's creation than they ever could have understood was possible. All of these things and even more, like medical advances, DNA, and genetic characteristics, were there waiting for us to discover as we grew more able to learn and explore.</div>
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We must adjust our beliefs according to the information that we have discovered or we will never be able to appreciate just how glorious God's Gifts are. My spiritual path includes following my understanding of God's Creation after the mental comma placed at the end of our recognized texts. God IS still speaking, we need to be brave enough to keep listening.</div>
Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-28731772775029076182014-09-04T15:14:00.001-07:002014-09-04T15:14:31.175-07:00Why I'm Writing All of ThisPeople need to feel good about faith again. They need to understand that it is OK to accept that not everything makes sense. It’s OK to ask questions and to question answers.<br />
<br />
It needs to be understood that when questioning our religion, it does not equal questioning our Faith or questioning God. It is questioning the understanding, interpretations and probably the possible agendas of those before us that have been traditionally relied on to show us how to demonstrate our Belief, Faith, and Service to God.<br />
<br />
God is perfect. Human Beings are not.<br />
<br />
We are able to see all around us regularly how imperfect we are. Even with our advances in communication how often are we supplied with incorrect information either accidentally or deliberately? How often have we trusted that we were given complete, accurate and unbiased information only to discover later we were being manipulated for a specific agenda? History is filled with such people and such misinformation causing trouble, anger, heartbreak and more.<br />
<br />
Yet, so many of us cling to the interpretation, chosen materials and often second, third and four-thousandth hand knowledge of events that are considered fact as they were finally written down, copied by hand in less than ideal environments, and translated from language to language before they reached their current version.<br />
<br />
Does this mean I don’t believe in the study of the Bible or the history of religion? No. I believe the study of the past is always good in understanding the perceptions and the actions of those who came before us. How they saw God’s creation. It also tells us how much they didn't know, couldn't see and had no opportunity of understanding just how vast God’s creation really is, how ancient it truly is and how small we really are within it.<br />
<br />
I also believe that we are still growing and God’s guidance is around us everywhere. Yes, sometimes the results of that guidance may be misused by those who have been granted it, but that God is still speaking to us in innumerable ways and sometimes we actually listen well enough for the message to get through.<br />
<br />
Prayer. What is Prayer? Prayer is speaking to God. It is taking a moment to allow ourselves to clear our minds and focus mentally on speaking to God.<br />
<br />
They say that the human brain is an incredible thing that we are only barely able to understand. Our mental abilities still boggle the scientific field in many ways. My favorite is psychosomatic pregnancy: The need for a baby so badly that a woman's body will actually exhibit all the symptoms including lactation and swelling in the abdominal region. We are sometimes able to focus so much on what we want that we will show physical symptoms of it. Imagine what we could do if we worked together to focus that mental state all at once. Oh wait, we do, in group prayer.<br />
<br />
Do I believe that enough prayer can assist in healing others, either from physical or mental harm? Yes. I believe that when we are able to come together and focus as one, God allows us to assist our brothers and sisters in ways we couldn't do otherwise.<br />
<br />
Many would ask then why these prayers don’t always appear to work. My only answer is, they just weren't supposed to for reasons we aren't supposed to understand.<br />
<br />
Growing up our parents didn't always explain why certain things had to be done a certain way, or why we weren't allowed to have or do something. Or if they did we weren't usually happy about it or maybe didn't fully understand why, but it was always for our own good. As we get older these things often start to make sense.<br />
<br />
As we, a people, mature socially, etc, perhaps we will be given the answers and finally be allowed to understand. Until then, we will just have to be angry, sad or disappointed when things don’t go our way. Life doesn't always seem fair but I know the more we work together, help each other and not continue to hurt each other, the better things will be.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-22737348953988133362014-09-01T12:16:00.000-07:002017-10-26T06:35:05.063-07:00Some Personal Thoughts: Marriage - Relationships - MonogamyIn honor of our 18th Wedding Anniversary, I decided to update and post an entry from my former blog that I wrote several years ago.<br />
<br />
There are a number of stereotypes affiliated with Active Duty military and their spouses and based on my observations over the past 18 years, I can honestly say there is a valid reason for those stereotypes to exist. Consequently, there was been more than one occasion that I had to make it very clear to someone that I was NOT a stereotypical Navy Wife.<br />
<br />
I've been asked before what makes a lasting marriage work and I've thought about it whenever I hear of anyone having their own relationship problems. Since there have been volumes written on the subject for decades and decades I won't bother trying to sound like an expert here. But in simple, one journal entry terms, based on my own experience and observations, I think I can put it in a nutshell with 3 words: LOVE, TRUST, and COMMUNICATION. <span style="color: orange;">Think of these together as the "tripod" of any relationship. No 2 of these can stand erect without the 3rd. (2017 addition)</span><br />
<br />
These 3 things are different but equally important aspects of any good relationship and must be the foundation for the rest of the relationship to be built on. If even one of these aspects is missing or weak, its unlikely that the other two will be able to support the relationship on their own. I'm sure at this point many are thinking things like "what about respect, similar personality, things in common, etc" these of course are also important, especially respect. In my opinion these often are linked to the basic 3 so they are understood as being there already.<br />
<br />
LOVE (Starting with the most obvious)<br />
Of course Love is what usually gets all this started. Most people have a pretty good idea what this is all about so I won't waste time saying to much.<br />
<br />
COMMUNICATION<br />
It is amazing how often I am talking to someone, or overhearing someone talk, about problems with their relationship and it comes out that all the issues they have with their partner they are talking about to everyone else BUT their partner. Contrary to apparent popular belief, a serious relationship does not cause a sudden onset of telepathy. If they don't know its broken, they can't fix it. In other words, if your significant other has done something that bothers you, unless they've done it on purpose, they can't make everything better if they don't know there is a problem to begin with. Stewing on an issue and waiting for it to fix itself will only cause a bigger issue to be created. If more happens and nothing is ever at least discussed to avoid further problems, then comes the wedge and invariably the end. Talk to each other. (And I do mean TALK not SCREAM) Listen to each other. Be willing to compromise. It may not be fun, it will probably be very uncomfortable at the least, but it can be the difference between a long lasting relationship and a really bad break-up with a potential soul mate.<br />
<br />
TRUST<br />
This subject still gets me. I am absolutely floored how many couples I've encountered who swear up and down they are in a fabulous relationship but will go ballistic if their partner even appears to look at someone else. If you are that insecure with your relationship, you shouldn't be in the relationship. If you have been in a previous relationship that your trust was betrayed, its understandable that you would be wary. To that end, if you've decided to commit to a new partner who has never done anything to make you not trust them, then you should trust them. If you can't, then you aren't ready to be in a new relationship yet. If you have a partner who won't trust you when there is no reason not to, you shouldn't be in the relationship. I've seen it over and over again, and it seems to be the fastest cause for things to go wrong.<br />
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People screw up, sometimes in a small way, sometimes spectacularly. Some mistakes can not be forgiven. Most can be IF the work is put in on both sides. I have the good fortune to be in a relationship that has never had to be deal with a major screw up. Like most, we've had our share of miscommunication problems, all of which we have managed to work out by discussing them. Or emailing, if we happen to be in different time zones at the time. Technology is wonderful. I also have the good fortune to be completely secure in my knowledge that I don't have to worry about what my husband may be doing when he's away from me, just as he is equally secure in what I do and don't do. So, since that is the case, we have fun being open with each other. If I see a cute female I know is about his type, I'll point her out. When he goes out, its often with single co-workers to places that are considered to be "target rich" environments. So what? We went through 7, six month separations in the 17.5 years he was active military, as well as numerous shorter versions that are too many to count and have never had a problem.<br />
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The first of these deployments began 7 months after we got married. Deployments include him going to foreign ports where entertainment of EVERY kind is so cheap its practically free. I knew this from the start. I also knew that when you are in a new place, have been working long hours and need to decompress, really stupid ideas can seem like really smart ideas when you are drunk on the local brew and all your companions are single and getting laid. So, I took the liberty of laying some ground rules for possible infractions.<br />
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1. Don't fall for anyone<br />
2. Don't let anyone fall for you<br />
3. Don't get anyone pregnant<br />
4. Don't CATCH anything<br />
5. Most importantly, tell me about it.<br />
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The last one may have many people raising eyebrows. I'm sorry to disappoint, but contrary to some more creative rumors we've had spread about us over the years, I'm not that kinky. I want to know about anything that happens because I don't want to be one of those wives who are the only ones who DON'T know. I can't say I won't be upset that something happened. I probably will be to some extent or another, but I guarantee, that will be nothing compared to how upset I'll be if I find out I'm the last to know. This may not work for everyone, but, I am a strong believer that the tighter you hold onto someone, the more you will probably push them away. Give each other room to breath you lessen the chance that you'll be driven to make mistakes. Also then, the mistakes you do make will be more easily fixable and forgivable.<br />
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<br />
Married 18 years<br />
Husband's was Active Duty Military 17.5 years<br />
Together 21 years<br />
41 years old<br />
Sexual intercourse with only 1 person my entire life. He's the first and only.<br />
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Go figure, we must be doing something right.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;">(2017 update - 21 years married and still going!)</span>Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097221832035432937.post-90826541723967678522014-08-17T22:02:00.003-07:002014-08-18T20:05:48.029-07:00Welcome to ...,following after the "Comma"<b>Philosophy </b>| [fi-los-uh-fee] | noun<br />
<ol>
<li>the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.</li>
<li>the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, especially with a view to improving or reconstituting them.</li>
<li>a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<b>Liberal </b>| [lib-er-uh l,lib-ruh l] | adjective<br />
<ol>
<li>favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.</li>
</ol>
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<b>Christian </b>| [kris-chuh n] | adjective<br />
<ol>
<li>of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.</li>
<li>of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.</li>
</ol>
<br />
<b>World </b>| [wurld] | noun<br />
<ol>
<li>the earth or globe, considered as a planet.</li>
<li>humankind; the human race; humanity: The world must eliminate war and poverty.</li>
</ol>
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<b>Growing Pains </b>| noun<br />
<ol>
<li>emotional difficulties experienced during adolescence and pre-adulthood.</li>
<li>difficulties attending any new project or any rapid development.</li>
</ol>
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What do you do when you consistently have the same ideas, theories, and plausible arguments for resolutions to issues going through your head over and over? Write them down, type them up and spin them off into cyberspace where they will probably never be seen. That’s OK though, at least they will be in my head a little less.<br />
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Ann-Moniquehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12142681186961447307noreply@blogger.com0